Learning to Live

I guess finding a unique path has something to do with truly loving yourself, having the courage to be honest and doing the work that is required for growth. I have to admit that I don't like the growing pains. I don't know if anyone really does, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I can deal with the pain. I focus so much on being perfect and not making mistakes that I miss out on so many wonderful opportunities. Well no more! I refuse to sit on the sidelines of my own life and watch it go by, waiting for someone or something to start my life for me. The only person that can live my life is me and the only person I need approval from is God. The funny thing is that he did that over 2,000 years ago and I still think I have something to prove.

Where has this new strength come from? I'm not sure, but I'm willing to bet that God had something to do with it. I now look forward to the future with a sense that I can actually do a great job at whatever comes my way. So this is what it feels like.

Crazy Day

I had an amazing experience today. I taught First Aid to a group of high schoolers in an after-school program. They tested me almost to my limits. I'm glad because I needed it. Let's face it, I'm a middle class white suburban kid who has never been in a fight and has never experienced many of the things these kids have. I know that these kids need to know First Aid and they know it too. My next step is to figure out how to motivate them to want to pass this class. How do you motivate someone who has spent 7 hours in school and then has a two hour class in the evening? I was definitely inspired by the staff today. I have long imagined what it would be like to work with youth outreach programs in difficult areas. Now I have an idea of how far I have to go and how difficult it really is to reach these kids. I realized just a little bit more how blessed I am and how my challenges are not nearly as big as I have made them out to be. I know how much of a cliche this is, and I hate cliches, but it's still true. I didn't react the way I thought I would; or hoped I would; but I learned a lot. Hopefully I will do better next week.

After listening to Dr. Charles Stanley to and from work today, I have further opened up to challenges and brokenness in my life. How can we ask God to use us as an instrument of his will if we are too afraid to give ourselves up to him?

Starting the Path

I am so happy that I am finally taking the major steps that I need to become the person I want to be. I'm not completely sure who that is yet; I'm still working out the details. Actually, I only have a vague idea of who I want to be. I have a good idea of who I am; that will have to suffice for now. One of my biggest struggles is living in the present. If I could only let go of the straining baggage, I would be free. It's funny because I am free to make all of these choices, the hard part is doing them. Why doesn't faith seem to be enough? Maybe because I don't have enough of it. I've understood all of the issues for years. Putting it into practice is much harder than I thought it would be. On the other hand, my brightest days are ahead of me. That's true for all of us if we make that choice. It's up to us.